Final 12 months, Howdy Labs and CoinMarketCap launched into a brand new calling: actuality tv. Protos reviewed the primary season of Killer Whales, and whereas we had been largely unimpressed, it’s arduous to think about we’d miss out on watching each episode of the second season.
When Killer Whales premiered in Could on Google Play and Apple TV, few, if any, media shops had been made conscious.
Happily, whereas anybody eager on watching can now see episodes one by means of 4 free of charge on YouTube, Protos has as soon as once more determined to wade by means of the whole sequence pre-full, free public launch so that you don’t must.
Lazy sequence however a minimum of nothing vital occurs
It’s arduous to explain simply how little occurred over the course of 5 episodes.
I can, nonetheless, inform you a few handful of unusual, pointless choices that the manufacturing groups made.
As an example, the primary episode includes a co-hosting duo: the annoying and personality-less ThreadGuy and the Andrew Tate fart-sniffing Aiden Ross.
Ross’s time is reduce brief, and after the primary couple of minutes of episode one, he by no means seems once more.
However why function a Trump-loving, Dubai-residing, degenerate loser for 3 minutes of a 5 episode sequence? That’s left so that you can determine.
The remainder of the present is a by no means ending parade of unlovable deadbeat judges, from no-name crypto change execs to crypto influencers with extra bot followers than actual folks.
You may be assured it’s a very terrible group of judges when the very best profile amongst them is former Trump appointee Anthony Scaramucci, who, together with the equally irritating Mario Nawfal, appears to get essentially the most display time.
The set is affordable, the writing is bland and corny, and the power to distinguish one silly challenge from one other is not possible.
Shark Tank, however we don’t wish to get sued
The creators of Killer Whales would have you ever consider this present is much like Shark Tank — not precisely excessive forehead TV viewing, however a enjoyable, undemanding watch — however that’s not the case.
It’s arduous to explain any of the sharks on Shark Tank as likeable, however it’s truthful to say they’re placing one thing on the road for the tasks they assist, albeit minimally: cash, time, and vitality.
Nevertheless, it’s unclear to me, even after hours of time spent watching this atrocity, what any challenge truly wins. They point out the truth that the present is “giving away $1.5 million in prizes,” together with “an accelerator program from the legendary CoinMarketCap.”
Precisely what this CoinMarketCap accelerator program is and the way it’s valued is left so that you can determine.
No different prizes had been ever talked about, however even when each challenge that bought a sure from the judges was to obtain any equal reduce of an all-cash prize pool, it might quantity to little greater than a pair hundred 1000’s {dollars}.
That is pennies within the tip jar for these tasks, a lot of which have already raised hundreds of thousands in enterprise capital.
By taking away stakes for judges and never bothering to say what any of those tasks are enjoying for, Killer Whales has seemingly already failed the primary rule of storytelling: have a starting, center, and finish.
Highlights (don’t fear, it’s just a few)
In the event you haven’t watched YouTuber Atrioc streaming the primary episode, it’s very humorous (notably when a challenge suggests it’ll usher sooner or later with 3D NFTs).
The primary episode additionally includes a bagholder in a cybertruck shilling a memecoin (this “project” in some way will get funded), whereas in episode three, the gang by chance funds a sniping bot on Solana.
Within the season finale (not but obtainable free of charge on YouTube), TransHuman Coin — one of many few tasks that’s seen a rise in its token worth for the reason that present was launched in Could — described itself like so:
“Our mission at Transhuman Coin is to push the capabilities of humanity, so we don’t accept death and disease as given. TransHuman Coin is the official token of the TransHuman Movement.”
It’s clear that there isn’t a lot of an viewers for this watered down, cryptofied model of Shark Tank: views for episode one in every of season two had been almost 25,000, but views for episode 4 solely quantity within the a whole lot.
How did the whales fare?
Under is a listing of featured tasks the place public information exhibits whether or not they have gone up or down in worth for the reason that launch of the present in Could:
- Karate Fight: down 52%
- Brett on Based mostly: down 60%
- WAGMI Video games: down 93%
- Elixir Video games: down 72%
- Bitscrunch: down 56%
- Galileo Protocol: down 37%
- Carv: down 56%
- Paw: down 60%
- Birb: up 6.7%
- TransHuman Coin: up 15%
The one two tasks which are up since Could weren’t funded by the whales.
Dumb, dangerous idea, considerably dumber and worse present
There’s no drawback with the idea of Killer Whales simply because it revolves round cryptocurrency, somewhat the truth that a lot of the tasks featured aren’t companies or ventures however nearly solely memecoins and weird rugpulls.
The unlucky actuality for is that it’s a poorly thought out and boring present.
Nobody is aware of what anyone receives for successful, the foundations aren’t absolutely defined, and there’s no construct up over the course of 5 episodes.
It feels as if the creators simply took the worst components of Shark Tank and essentially the most mundane rubbish from The Apprentice and mixed them to make a merely horrible actuality tv present that nobody with a practical mind would take the time to look at.
However hey, that’s why I’m right here.
