Vainness Honest simply printed an embarrassing profile of crypto’s self-described “true believers,” full with a photoshoot at a $300 million Decrease East Aspect lodge.
Its headline learn “Crypto’s True Believers Demand to Be Taken Seriously.” The web, nevertheless, did the precise reverse.
The characteristic profiles Mike Novogratz of Galaxy Digital, OpenSea co-founder Devin Finzer, BitMEX co-founder Arthur Hayes (off-camera), ARK Make investments’s Cathie Wooden, Polychain Capital’s Olaf Carlson-Wee, and others.
Some introduced private hair and make-up groups. Danny Ryan bragged about pants with a gap within the crotch.
Novogratz made certain to inform the story of a 4am nightclub hangover. Meltem Demirors texted Finzer’s girlfriend, “You look like a clown.”
Essentially the most embarrassing crypto photograph of the 12 months thus far
Reactions to the shoot have been fast. Nic Carter posted that Vainness Honest “did ‘em dirty” alongside an image of the unique shoot on which it was primarily based, specifically the Alliance of Magicians photograph from Arrested Growth.
One other observer referred to as out the absurdity of Finzer doing a glamour shoot “while delaying your token for the 14th time.”
Certainly, the day earlier than the article dropped, Finzer confirmed on X that his OpenSea token SEA, initially scheduled for March 30 after quite a few prior delays, can be delayed but once more. The timing was brutal.
For additional context, the valuation of his NFT market OpenSea collapsed from $13 billion in January 2022 to underneath $2 billion by late 2023, and NFTs haven’t recovered since.
In the meantime, on the shoot, Finzer’s girlfriend informed Vainness Honest she had “Armani Privé flying in” and “Jean Paul Gaultier haute couture.”
Novogratz’s LUNA tattoo was not seen, however Armani Privé was
Novogratz nonetheless has a LUNA tattoo impressed by Do Kwon’s collapsed pyramid scheme that Novogratz promoted.
He etched it on himself in early 2022 after LUNA crossed $100.
Galaxy Digital had negotiated a deal to purchase LUNA at a 30% low cost, promoted it publicly, then quietly bought. By March 2022, Galaxy had offloaded almost its complete stake, earlier than it collapsed for everybody else.
The token and its stablecoin went to $0 two months later, erasing greater than $40 billion in market valuation. In March 2025, Galaxy agreed to pay $200 million to settle with New York’s legal professional normal.
Novogratz referred to as the tattoo a “good reminder of hubris.” He confirmed as much as the shoot in a full-length jacket, hiding it from Vainness Honest.
Cathie Wooden believed within the incorrect factor
Cathie Wooden was current for the crypto Vainness Honest shoot, regardless of her flagship ARK Innovation ETF nonetheless buying and selling 54% beneath its 2021 peak.
By 2024, Morningstar had ranked her fund household as America’s prime wealth-destroying fund household over the previous decade.
In 2020, Wooden was hailed because the world’s greatest inventory picker and appeared on the duvet of Bloomberg Businessweek because the “Believer.” By 2022, she was the worst.
Wooden predicted bitcoin would attain $1.5 million. It’s nonetheless 95% wanting her forecast.
Carlson-Wee appeared on the shoot with bleached-blond hair and outrageous attire. In February 2025, he appeared in a video with Kanye West throughout West’s “Swasticoin” memecoin saga.
He reposted a photograph with West, captioned “future of finance.” He didn’t touch upon the Nazi branding.
Erik Voorhees, additionally within the cowl characteristic, was charged by the SEC in 2014 for promoting unregistered securities. ShapeShift, which he based, settled with the SEC once more in 2024 for appearing as an unregistered seller.
Voorhees based and promoted Venice Token, which is down 75% from its all-time excessive. He additionally promoted Thorchain for years, which is down 97% from its all-time excessive.
Voorhees’ former employer BitInstant was shut down by the federal government. Its founder Charlie Shrem went to jail.
Crypto self-importance on show in high fashion
It was not as if Vainness Honest merely editorialized their embarrassment. The influencers themselves offered essentially the most damning materials. For instance, Demirors recalled being “drunk and army-crawling across the table” at an Ethereum convention.
Somebody on the photoshoot displayed a $200 Palauan ID he makes use of to entry offshore derivatives platforms. “Everyone does this,” he claimed.
Novogratz described partying till 4am at age 59. Finzer’s girlfriend referred to herself as his “product mommy.”
The crypto market has misplaced roughly $2 trillion since its October 2025 peak. BTC has dropped greater than 40% from its all-time excessive, whereas ether is down roughly 53%.
Solana has fallen nearer to 67%.
The folks demanding to be taken critically embody a person tattooed with a reminder of a $40 billion collapse, the worst fund supervisor in America by Morningstar’s measure, the promoter of a token down 97%, and an NFT CEO whose token launch has been delayed so many instances his personal group misplaced rely.
Vainness Honest, to its credit score, allow them to inform on themselves.
